The Virgin Rogers
by Omnicat
Summary: Steve is adamant that he's still a virgin. There might be something of a misunderstanding here.


**Title:** The Virgin Rogers

 **Author:** Omnicat

 **Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge:** _Captain America: the First Avenger_

 **Warnings:** Talk of sex.

 **Characters & Relationships:** Steve x Peggy x Bucky, with MANY MANY other Steve ships mentioned.

 **Summary:** Steve is adamant that he's still a virgin. There may be something of a misunderstanding here. **/ 1226 words**

 **Author's Note:** Inspired by Chris Evans saying Steve is a virgin (  omnicat tumblr com/post/117542048098/ ), Hayley Atwell saying Steve and Peggy totally had sex ( omnicat tumblr com/post/125751970478/ ), and a fun conversation with a friend about what, exactly, even constitutes losing your virginity. Enjoy!

 **II-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-I-oOo-I-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-II**

 **The Virgin Rogers**

"A threesome."

Bucky stared at Steve and Carter across the table.

"Yes."

"But... wait, wait, I thought you two were..."

Carter raised an expectant eyebrow, while Steve crossed his arms over his chest and looked mutinous.

"Flirting," Bucky finished. "And _only_ flirting. Very awkwardly."

"No we're not," said Steve, in the indignant way that meant 'I'm not that awkward, you jerk'.

"No we're not," said Carter, in a way that, if Bucky didn't know any better, he could've sworn was distinctly smug and meant 'but you fell for it anyway'.

Um.

"So what _have_ you been doing? I mean, to suddenly lead to... this question."

"Nothing," said Steve.

"Everything," said Carter. "As long as it created no risk of me falling pregnant."

"So, nothing," Steve insisted.

Peggy rolled her eyes. " _Everything_ but the kitchen sink, Steve, honestly." And she shot Bucky a look. "Did you teach him this?"

" _What?"_

"He told me you and him used to fool around a lot," she said, and she didn't even sound put out by it, which was a nice if terrifying surprise. "What did you call _that?_ "

Oh. _Oh._

Oh god, now it made sense.

Bucky couldn't hold back his laughter. Steve couldn't seem to stop looking scandalized, which only made Bucky laugh harder.

"We called it a lot of things, ma'am," he hiccupped. "'Practice' always worked. Or 'helping a buddy out'. I used to tell him none of it counted unless you could knock a girl up with it."

"Exactly!" Steve said, determinately triumphant. "See, Peg, as long as we save you-know-what for marriage, we're fine."

"Steve, I was joking! Those were just dumb excuses I made up so we wouldn't have to tell the priest!"

Steve's mouth fell open in angry disbelief. Now Carter started laughing too.

"Oh, god." Bucky fell off his chair and rolled around on the floor, shaking with laughter. "Steve," he gasped. "I thought you knew that. Jesus, we were fifteen years old. I thought when I went with Sadie Woodhouse and you met that Arnie Roth kid who was so serious about it, he'd straighten you out. Christ, didn't the army teach you anything? I thought you were _in_ a VD education newsreel. God almighty, Steve."

Carter raised her eloquent eyebrow at Steve. Steve closed his mouth and fell very quiet.

Bucky hoisted himself back into his chair with considerable effort.

"I apologize. I take full responsibility for the misunderstanding," he somehow managed to tell Carter with a straight face, and scraped his throat and wiped tears from his eyes. "I hear it's a lot less complicated here in Europe than it is back in New York, is that true?"

"God, I should hope so. Well, Sergeant, what do you say? Care to join us tonight? Or whenever it is Steve has recovered from this blow to his virtue?"

Steve was very, very quiet. Too quiet.

Bucky and Agent Carter were too busy making fun of him to notice.

"Oh, definitely. But call me Bucky, okay?"

"Of course. And you can call me Peggy."

"Should I bring anything? Rubbers, slick? I think I may still have the penny Steve used to put between his knees. He would come up with all the most creative misinterpretations of what the grown ups told us about sex, lemme tell you."

"Sounds like that misunderstanding between you two went both ways. Please, if you don't mind my asking - a misunderstanding isn't why you two... split up, is it?"

"Oh, I don't know. We've always been _some_ kind of close, the exact way _how_ just changes from time to time, you know? But Steve's pretty used to following after his dick like it's a leash someone else is holding, so if you're planning to make him tie the knot I gotta warn you..."

"That won't be a problem, I don't think. I have been told I am _great_ at setting and enforcing boundaries. By tying my own knots, if I have to."

"Incredible," Steve said suddenly, as if he''d had a mind-blowing revelation. He gave Peggy and Bucky a brilliant grin.

Peggy and Bucky felt identical chills run down their spines.

"Incredible," Steve repeated. "I've sucked off what must've been every queer guy in Brooklyn. While you two were over here fighting a war, I was working my way through a chorus line of pretty, athletic dancers in tiny skirts – at least when there wasn't a beautiful girl or handsome fella from the audience waiting for me behind the theater..."

"Good for you," Bucky said cautiously.

"There was a lonely nurse when I first arrived overseas, and a couple of grateful guys from the camp in Krausburg..."

"Was that before or after Private Lorraine?" Peggy asked.

"Well before."

"Alright then," she said with narrowed eyes.

"And then there's everything I've gotten up to with the two of _you_ ," Steve said... and stopped.

Peggy and Bucky waited.

"Your point?" Peggy asked eventually.

"Well," Steve said cheerfully. "There's no better way to stay a virgin until marriage, is there?"

"That's all? You still consider yourself a virgin?" Bucky asked. "After all of that? After we just told you –"

"Yep."

"That's all that little shit grin was for?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Bucky thought about that for a moment and decided to err on the side of caution. "Okay. Whatever floats your boat, pal."

But Peggy heaved a sigh of irritation. "Ugh. _No._ I have not had all that sex with you only for you to turn around and keep calling yourself a virgin! I am a modern woman. It's a matter of principle."

"Are you sure?" Steve asked, voice full of faux-concern.

"Yes," Peggy hissed.

 _Oh, no,_ Bucky through. "Peggy –"

" _Really_ sure? I mean, it wouldn't apply just to you and me, but to everybody else I've been with too."

"Yes! You don't honestly think you were _my_ first, do you?"

"Carter –"

"Well, alright then," Steve said.

Bucky covered his eyes, bracing for impact.

"Then, in the interest of full disclosure, I guess I should mention I deflowered Stark's backside." Steve's foot knocked into Bucky's. "And Rebecca."

Bucky yanked his hand away.

"Stark? _Howard_ Stark?" Peggy said, voice rising with every syllable.

"My _sister_ Rebecca?!"

Steve shrugged, a picture of vindictive innocence.

Peggy looked like she might actually hurl.

"Steve Rogers, if this is your idea of a joke –"

"Even I wouldn't sink _that_ low, Buck."

Bucky and Peggy's eyes met, and they rose from their seats in unison.

"Oh yeah, you go ahead and run, you jerks!" Steve called after him.

Peggy very nearly turned around and threw herself at him fists first. But Bucky grabbed her by the shoulders, said "And you can tell your threesome goodbye!", and kissed her full on the mouth.

Steve made a funny noise, prompting her to grab a fistful of Bucky's hair and force his mouth open with her tongue.

Eventually she wrenched them apart, said "Missionary position?", and he nodded and said "Missionary position.", and they slammed the door on Steve's exclamation of " _Hey!_ "

They did, in the end, have that threesome, just with a bit more scratching and biting involved than they'd initially imagined. But when Steve mumbled "and I'm still a virgin no matter what you say, dammit" into his pillow afterward, Peggy and Bucky just sighed and spooned him a little more tightly.


End file.
